The State of the Knicks

Yo, yo, yo.  After bombarding you with so many posts during the NFL MEGA WEEK, we decided that you were probably sick of DJLR and needed a little break… Nahh, I’m just lazy (#SENIORS12 #JKThisIsn’tTwitter…  #DJLR).

I’m still lying.  The truth is that I’m going through some MEGA withdrawal following the MEGA WEEK.  I can’t eat; I can’t sleep; and I think I’ve developed an allergy to sunlight.  To top it all off, my bracket is as busted as Susan Boyle.  God damn it, I miss you MEGABLOG…

Anyway, now that the MEGA BLOG has officially been laid to rest, it’s time to move on, and what better way to move on than another Long Overdue Knicks Column!!!! 

(Is it just me, or are all of my Knicks columns “long overdue?”)

The State of the Knicks

When we last talked about the Knicks I wrote,

“They fired D’Antoni too early and may have sacrificed their season because of it. Unless Mike Woodson is the second coming of Phil Jackson, Melo and Amar’e go back to college and take Chemistry 101, or the Knicks give the ball to Steve Novak every possession and let him take threes (because he is that good), I can’t imagine the Knicks making it out of the first round.”

If you can weed through all of the bad jokes, what I’m basically saying is that the reason why the Knicks won’t go anywhere in the playoffs (if they even make the playoffs) is because they fired D’Antoni mid-season. 

First, I would like to apologize for this terrible disparaging of Mr. Michael Dean Woodson.  What he has done with the Knicks defense (allowing just 86 PPG in the Woodson Era) in such a short period of time is incredible.  The players (especially Iman Shumpert) look like they actually want to play defense, and they finally realize that great defense leads to great offense through easy transition points. 

Second, Mike Woodson’s eyebrows look like two pieces of black construction paper taped onto his face. 

Third, I’m still sticking with my prediction, but for a different reason: injuries.

Injuries to Amar’e (bulging disk) and, more importantly, Jeremy Lin (knee) are going to put the Knicks out of “contention” (if you call struggling for the 8-seed in the East “contending”). 

The injury to Amar’e isn’t that devastating.  Amar’e is like the Lord Voldemort of the Knicks (from The Sorcerer’s Stone to The Goblet of Fire).  In books one through five, people slowly started to become aware that “He Who Must Not Be Named” was on the rise, but nobody wanted to admit it.  If they admitted it then they would have to face the terrifying reality the evil, socially awkward Tom Riddle and his demon snake were back.**

**Sidenote: When Voldemort says “Nagini” is he referring to a physical snake or his penis?  Seriously, the book is vague. 

Voldemort: “Come Nagini, we have much work to do…”

Harry: “You know Voldemort's snake, Neville? He's got a huge snake... Calls it Nagini...” 

Come on, I can’t be the only one… Dumbledore was gay for God sake**

Every Knicks fan secretly knows that Amar’e’s knees are slowly eroding away into nothingness.  We secretly know that Amar’e has maybe two good years left before he won’t be able to jump anymore.  We secretly know that STAT is having one of his worst statistical seasons of his career with 17.6 PPG (worst since his rookie season), 8.0 rebounds per game (worst ever), and shooting under 50% from the field for the first time since the ’03-’04 season.  We secretly know that he has -47 plus/minus rating, second only to what’s left of Mike Bibby’s corpse (-77).    We all know this, but nobody wants to talk about it.

If we talk about it then it becomes real, and nobody wants to face the reality that the player that made it cool to be a Knicks fan again might be headed for the Great IR in the Basketball Heaven. 

Lin’s injury (aka the Linjury) is much more devastating.  I don’t have to go through all of his stats, but Lin had the highest Player Efficiency Rating on the team (19.93), and he was finally starting to create chemistry on the court.  Now that he (and Amar’e) are gone, the Knicks are basically the Pre-Melo Trade Nuggets: 

Melo = Melo

J.R. Smith = J.R. Smith

Baron Davis* = poor man’s Chauncy Billups 

Tyson Chandler = Nene

Landry Fields = Birdman (JK)

**Sidenote: I have never been more nervous with the ball in a point guard’s hands.  Even the easy passes that Baron makes look like they just barely get there.**

Talk about a throwback that nobody wants to see.  The only difference is that Melo is in a place where he wants to play, which, to be fair, makes all the difference. I still think Melo can be the centerpiece of a championship contender, but not this year. Melo can carry this team into the playoffs, but facing the Bulls/Heat in the first round isn’t really a recipe for success. 

I would be happy if the Knicks made it to the playoffs and won a game or two.  It’s not pessimism; it’s realism.  It would be an improvement off of last year, and it might assure Mike Woodson the coaching job once the season is over.  The basketball gods hate New York for some reason, and I’m starting to get sick of it.  Now that Tebow’s in New York let’s hope he can get God on our side.

Shoutout to Hampton and Homes Real Estate, the one stop shop for all of your Hamptons/Home related real estate needs

#DJLR