They call me King HOV, copy? Big blogging is my hobby. More accurately, SUPER BLOGGING. At this moment, I am blogging from seat
7C of a plane en route to Cincinnati where a 300-pound man name Umberto is
waiting with a “KATZ (not the musical, the Jewish kind)” sign. Umberto is an extraordinary pianist who
drives taxis during the day to pay the bills, and it is this man who will
accompany me on my two-hour drive to Indianapolis.
The pilot just turned on the fasten
seatbelt sign and the stewardess announced that all electronics must be “turned
off and stowed for takeoff.” Well,
unfortunately stewardess, nothing is going to stop me from SUPER BLOGGING, not
even the threat of taking down this plane. Just call me Alex Blogwin.
Now we’re cruising, 30,000 feet and
feeling great. Tried to join the
mile-high club but got shut down by a butt-ugly stewardess. Maybe it was because I didn’t turn off
my computer during takeoff. Fuck
it. I’m going to the Super Bowl,
and like Christina Aguilera once said, “words can’t bring me down today.” I AM
beautiful.
Anyway, with my plans thwarted
maybe I should talk about this weekend’s game. Is it just me, or is this the greatest Super Bowl matchup of
all time? Maybe it’s the altitude
or maybe I’m just going insane, but I almost had a seizure thinking about all
of the potential storylines: New England out for revenge after the Giants
destroyed their perfect season in Super Bowl XLII, Eli on the verge of his
second Super Bowl win, Brady and Belichick going for their record setting 4th
Super Bowl win, Peyton’s brother playing against Peyton’s archrival in Peyton’s
house, Eli possibly surpassing his brother, in terms of Super Bowl wins, in his
brother’s stadium, Gronkowski’s ankle, the possibility that this will be Brandon
Jacobs’ last game as a Giant, Antrel Rolle telling New York to “prepare for a
parade,” the fact that all of hoopla (by the way, great word) is going on in
Indianapolis and the Colts are on the precipice of a decision that has the
potential to change the landscape of the National Football League as we know
it, what Madonna’s first song will be, and whether or not Umberto will drive
fast enough for me to make it to Indianapolis in time to see Liam Nieson beat
the shit out of a ManBearPig in The Grey.
And then there’s the actual game.
We were a missed field goal and a
fumble away from a Ravens-Niners HarBowl, but Cundiff DID miss and Williams DID
fumble (and thank Tebow he did).
The Patriots don’t have as potent
an offense as they had in 2007, but they are more complex. Their offense thrives off of two tight
end sets and the mismatches that Hernandez, and more noticeably, Gronkowski
cause allow the Patriots to do what they want to do. Defenses can’t play man because they don’t have the
personnel to stop these tight ends, but they can’t sit in zone because then
Brady will pick them apart underneath with Welker. If OchoCinco ever decides that being good is just as
important as “talking shit and celebrating” then there may be no way to stop that
offense. Defenses are forced to
pick their poison against a Patriots offense that is averaging 34 points per
game this postseason.
The Giants, on the other hand, are
a more complete team than they were in ’07. They don’t have that “they don’t respect us/David vs Goliath/us
against the world” mentality that they embraced during Super Bowl XLII because
the Patriots haven’t won 18 games in a row and are only favored by three
points. Yet there are eerie
similarities that make you think Déjà Blue:
1. Great play and ball security by Eli:
·
’07 playoffs: 62.4% completion, 599 yards, 4 TD,
0 INT
·
’11 playoffs: 61.7% completion, 929 yards, 9 TD,
1 INT
2. Getting the ground game going:
·
’07 playoffs: 29.7 Rush Att. PG, 108 Rush YPG
·
’11 playoffs: 28 Rush Att. PG, 117.3 Rush YPG
3. Pressure and Turnovers
·
’07 playoffs: 4 sacks, +5 Turnover Margin
·
’11 playoffs: 9 sacks, +5 Turnover Margin
On paper, the ’11 Giants are a
better team than the ’07 Giants, but what the numbers don’t show is the ’07
Giants’ performance in the Super Bowl.
They sacked Brady FIVE times
during that game, and forced a fumbled, holding a record-setting Patriots’
offense (averaging over 30 points a game) to only 14 points. The third category (Pressure
and Turnovers) is the key to Sunday’s game.
Up until now I’ve been extremely
quiet about my Championship Game predictions (of which I was 2 for 2) so I’m
starting to gain some credibility (I hope).
And now, the moment you’ve all been
waiting for…
THE
PREDICTION:
Defense will win one of these teams
the Super Bowl. I’ve been saying
this all along: whoever wins the turnover battle wins the game, and the
turnover battle starts with getting to the quarterback. Whichever defense is able to get
consistent pressure on the quarterback will have the edge.
In a battle of the defensive lines,
you have to pick the Giants. Yes,
Vince Wilfork may very well eat one of the Giants’ offensive linemen over the
course of the game because he is that
big (and probably that hungry), but I
would take Tuck, Osi, Canty, and JPP over Wilfork, Ellis, Love, and Anderson
any day.
Next, you have to look at
DB’s. This season the Patrtiots
were ranked second to last in total defense and used a total of 16 different DB’s throughout the course
of the season. I repeat, SIXTEEN! That’s like rotating a new DB in every
game of the season! I don’t care
how big of a mismatch Gronk and Hernandez are, any team who plays musical
chairs with their DBs like the Patriots do will not be able to keep up with
Nicks, Manningham, and Cruuuuuuuuz.
Finally, the Patriots were ranked
second to last in total defense during the regular season. The Giants were ranked 16th. I’m not saying that’s amazing, but it’s
better than second to last.
Taking all of those factors into
consideration, I am not underestimating the experience that Tom Brady has in
the Super Bowl and the fact that he just came off of the worst playoff
performance of his career. He's going to play like he has something to prove, and when he plays like that there's no one better.
Ultimately, I think both quarterbacks are going to get pretty beat up, and the quarterback that can deal with getting beat up best will will their team to victory.
Ultimately, I think both quarterbacks are going to get pretty beat up, and the quarterback that can deal with getting beat up best will will their team to victory.
I’m picking the Giants in another
close one:
PATRIOTS: 23
GIANTS: 27
 |
| Here's the Tyree catch, just for good luck. |
And in case you get into a “lol”
war with any of your friends before the Super Bowl, here are a few suggestions:
·
Jason Pierre Lol
·
Rob Gronklolski
·
Tom Lolghlin
·
Elol Manning
·
Aaron Hahahahahaharnandez
·
Indianapolols
·
Chris Lollinsworth
·
And my personal favorite: LMAO Ze Dong (nothing to do with the Super Bowl, but it’s hilarious
in any situation)
Shout-out to anyone and everyone
#SUPERBLOG
#DJLR
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