Where We Go From Here

            The Heat were supposed to win. Everybody knew that. The analysts gave us numerical proof, the ex-players and coaches gave us experiential proof, but the Heat gave us the only proof that really matters: the scoreboard. Knowing it’s coming doesn’t lessen the blow; it only gives us time to brace ourselves until it finally hits. It’s not anger; it’s more disappointment, but that almost makes it worse.  Anger results from the belief that your team was robbed and that if they replayed the series, your team would no doubt come out on top.  Disappointment results from the knowledge that your team was thoroughly outmatched and that if they replayed the series, your team would be lucky to make it to Game 6.  

            Sorry for all of these somber reflections, but the Knicks’ loss has put me in a dark place.  Also I think the fact that I watched the majority of the game in silence* compounded my feeling that Game 5 was just an elaborate funeral.

*Sidenote: Yesterday was the first day of my switch from DirecTV to Fios.  Anticipating the move, I instinctively looked up the new channel numbers for some key channels: ESPN, MSG, NBCSN, etc. but stupidly forgot TNT.  My Internet was down all of yesterday because the computer guys were switching the Wi-Fi network, so I was forced to watch Game 5 on MSG with the unbearable Clyde Frazier commentating.  I hadn’t actually listened to Clyde during games in a while because I usually put the TV on mute and listen to play-by-play on Internet radio, but like I said, no Internet.  I gave Clyde a chance and regretted it within seconds.

            First of all, he sounds like he’s talking to a baby.  He has the high, soft, condescending tone that adults use when they’re talking to newborns, only permanently.  This is compounded by the fact that he goes out of his way to make stupid rhymes with antiquated 1980’s basketball slang, but he only has like three of them so he just repeats those three rhymes throughout the game.  Dwayne Wade swoopin’ and hoopin’ through the Knicks D.  We’re not the Hawks, Clyde, and even if we were, human beings don’t “swoop.”  Melo swishin’ and dishin’ in transition.  Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my fist trying to destroy the T.V. The Knicks’ lookin’ a little loosey goosey early on. What does that mean? 

I put the game on mute halfway through the first quarter after I turned away for a moment and heard Clyde say LeBron James penetrating and creating here tonight.  I was watching with my ten-year old brother and that’s just in poor taste.  I don’t think my parents have given Kenny the “sex talk” yet, and I wasn’t about to let Clyde Frazier do it for them. 

 #FIRECLYDE!!!!!**

Pretty long sidenote, I know, but someone had to say it.  Anyway, now that the Knicks are officially eliminated there’s going to be a lot of talk about what to do/what’s best for the team/whose fault it is.  Well there are three ways that this scenario can play out:

1. The Reactionary Scenario – 20%

            The Reactionary Scenario is a little less likely now because Amar’e came back and helped the Knicks break their playoff loss streak, but no doubt it’s still possible.  New Yorkers have pride.  Anybody who has ever lived in New York can tell you this.  More so, New York fans have pride.  Even though the fan base is divided in almost every sport, all New York fans unite to support the one TRUE New York basketball team: The Knicks (not the Nets, I don't care where they play). 

            New York fans don’t like to be reminded of their teams’ failures.  They don’t like to be reminded that the Knicks haven’t won a playoff series since 2000*.  They don’t like losing at all.  The Giants just won the Super Bowl, the Rangers are the number one seed in the East, and the Yankees are the most successful franchise in sports history.  Saying that they don’t like to lose is an understatement. 

**By the way, the ESPN Alert I got on my phone when the Knicks were eliminated was uncharacteristically mean: “NBA- Knicks eliminated by Heat, 4-1; Knicks have not won a playoff series since 2000.”  Did you really have to add that last part ESPN?  If the Clippers somehow lost their series would there be a national alert reading, “NBA- Clippers eliminated by Grizzlies, 4-3; Clippers have won one playoff series since 1976 when they were the Buffalo Braves. They fucking suck.”  I didn’t think so.**

The reactionary scenario = total panic mode.  The Knicks try desperately to get rid of Amar’e and his remaining 3 years and $65 million, so they end up trading him for 10 cents on the dollar.  The Magic are willing to take on that liability so that they can have a chance of keeping Dwight Howard, so the Knicks end up trading Amar’e and the false hope that Dwight Howard will stay in Orlando for Hedo Turkoglu, Chris Duhon, and cap space.  They use the cap space to over-pay Jeremy Lin because James Dolan likes to sell jerseys.  Finally, they don’t offer Mike Woodson a long-term contract because they want to make a push at Phil Jackson, but when they finally realize Phil Jackson has no intention of returning to basketball, another team offers Woodson the contract that he deserves and Woodson accepts it there because he feels insulted by the Knicks.  Ultimately the Knicks lose big time.

2. The Conservative Scenario – 5%

             “Nothing is wrong! Amar’e and Melo just need more time to gel under Woodson.  They are meant to play together.  Let’s re-sign Jeremy Lin to a big deal to give the fans what they want.  We’ll make a push for Steve Nash, but not a big one because, you know, we’ve got Lin.  Oh, I forgot we’ll give Woodson a nice contract, and go for a semi-big free agent like… Jason Terry! Great! Another shooter!  Just what we need!  Now all we need is one more power forward...”

            The conservative scenario ends just like this season ended: in disappointment and defeat after going out in the first round of the playoffs once again. This scenario is very unlikely because James Dolan caves to media/fan pressure.

3.  The Logical Scenario – 75% (I hope)

            The Knicks know that they won’t get a lot for Amar’e so why trade him for nothing?  Focus on keeping him healthy so that he can at least be a shade of what he was 5 years ago.  Make a big push for Steve Nash.  All out.  Give him all the maple syrup candy and hockey pucks he wants.  Who cares if he’s old; he’s a two-time MVP at the end of his prime who still manages to get it done for a team with literally nothing around him.  Re-sign Jeremy Lin, but for a two or three year deal.  Let Lin develop behind Nash so that he can learn what it means to be a point guard.  If they can’t get Nash, get Goran Dragic from Houston.  The Knicks need a true passing point guard to make a full push at the Melo-Mar'e experiment to see if they truly are incompatible.  If they conclude that Amar'e is the problem, trade him before the deadline for a shooter like J.R. Smith who can create his own shot to take pressure of of Melo.  Michael Beasly possibly?  Finally, unless Phil Jackson openly declares that he is coming back to basketball by the early July to revive The Garden, sign Mike Woodson to a long-term deal.  He already has the support of the Knicks’ best players, and if they somehow manage to fuck up the Woodson deal and don’t get Jackson, they’ll be stuck with a coach that doesn’t have the support of the players or fans along with questions as to why they didn’t re-sign Woodson when they had the chance.  If everything works out the Knicks will be at least a 4-seed in the east with a chance to get hot in the playoffs. 

           These moves would (hopefully) give the Knicks a starting lineup of Steve Nash (Lin backup), Iman Shumpert, Carmelo Anthony, Amar'e Stoudemire, and Tyson Chandler.  Give that starting five an regular 82 game season and pray to the basketball gods that Amar'e's knees hold out and you've got yourself the third best team in the East at least.  But that's all on paper, and, more importantly, that's all hypothetical.  Give James Dolan a couple months and he'll figure out a way to destroy our hopes and dreams, you watch.  

           I didn't know where to fit this in before, but it must be said:  Mike Miller is a douche.  He isn't classy enough to be a super villain, but he looks like the in-the-closet assistant to a super villain that everybody knows is gay, but he's too scared to admit it.  

Shout out to MSG Network: Please Fire Clyde

#DJLR